You Jokes

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.

Surprise

How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

He said, "Best surprise ever!"

Player

What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?

654-721-8940

(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)

Sex

What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.

Memes

Rose

Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.

Sense

You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”

Ball

Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Weight

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Diaper

What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

Just put the diaper on her ๐Ÿ˜‰

Caesar

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ

Printer

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

Face

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

Russia

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

Oh, Russia, we love you! ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ

Cat

What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?

An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.

Guy

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น

That's if you even have an account. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น