You jokes
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
Memes
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!