You jokes

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."

I have the biggest balls; you have wobbles.

Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?

Me: More than you!

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Is your home the Twin Towers? Because I'm tryna crash!

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

Do you want to hear a cold joke?

Can't. It warmed up.

What flour do you buy an orphan?

Self-raising flour.

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

"Aren't you going back home now?"

"No, I am going back home."

What do you call a group of children who go on strike?

A minor's strike.

What do you call a pencil with no end?..

Pointless.

What is the difference between you and an orphan?

Orphans have zero family.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."