You jokes

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

"Room, you on."

I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.

I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?

What did the shell say to the shell?

"Shell you later."

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.