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You jokes

What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

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    • How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

    Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

    My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

    Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

    Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

    Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

    Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

    Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?

    Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

    A man walks in to the doctor.

    He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."

    Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!

    If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

    Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

    Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."