You jokes
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.