You jokes

My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A self-portrait.

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

My hair strainer is hotter than you.

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.

Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.

Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.

Nathan: WE-WE

Alicia: WEE-WEE?

Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes

Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u

Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*

Alicia: *WEIRD*

Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose

Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess

cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou

nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy

cuugh umm

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

You should always be happy about family and love.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

What do you call a funny drink?

Punch!

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.

What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?

A sourpuss.

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?

Humpty Dumpty!