You jokes
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
Did you know my grandpa was in WW2? He killed Hitler.
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"