You jokes
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
Unemployed.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What do you call a dinosaur that raps?
A VELOCI-RAPPER!
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.