You jokes
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.