You jokes
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!