Piggy jokes

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.

I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."

The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.

What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"

"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."

Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

Students: Eggs.

Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon.

Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

Kids: Homework.

Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.

Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.

Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.

Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?

Because he’s a ball hog.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".