I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
