You jokes
In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.