You jokes
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
What do you say to the orphan?
"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
Bully: Who you looking at?
Me: A Build-A-Bear.
Bully: Where?
Me: Look in the mirror.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.