You jokes
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.