You jokes
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.