You jokes

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?

No, it screeches.

Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?

A megasus!

How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?

An apple bag. 😜

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?

You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.

Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?

A box office bomb.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.

If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.

Your own motheeer makes me giggle.

Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.

HEY!

Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.

Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree

Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy

I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.

Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”

And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.

Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder

I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.

Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.

Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.

MMMMMMM

ahhhhhh

ohhhohoh

Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.

It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.

Hey Mama!

I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out

but not before I creamed all over her and shout

“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!

Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!

I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’

Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.

A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from

Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”

That’s the truth there, baby! Even if

yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid

or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why

Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.

I want to fuck every MILF on Earth

it don’t matter how much her ass is worth

or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure

Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.

My body count so high can’t nobody top me

She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”

I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.