You jokes

America

    • America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."

    Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"

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    • Rapper

    • What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

    A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!

    God

    • During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

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    • Slut

    • I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

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    • Guy

    • A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

    Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

    Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

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    • Restaurant

    • I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

    Wine

    • I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

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