Year jokes
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.