Year jokes

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?

Because they don't have a Father's Day.

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

Kiwi: she's here!!

2022

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.