Year jokes
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, βDonβt bother sweeping him son, heβs been dusted for years.β I was shocked but not surprised.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
Memes
what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! π€§
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didnβt remember me!"
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" π
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry thatβs my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.