Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them
Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
