Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus. The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse." "How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ' I'll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says 'And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel' !
Steven Hawkings Sesh Cave, Entry 50p, Guaranteed Budweiser and Ectasy. Maybe A Gram of Heroin, You'll most likely see a mental 90 year old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
Whatโs the best part of raping an 11 year old girl? Killing the little bitch after youโve finished with her
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt. Get off this site and go have some sex you fucking virgins.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. an hour later she got back home not only she lost the stranger but also her virginity.
How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18 - 24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills she would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA
What do you call a pillow that been on the bed for 20 years in jail A criminal ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
At 5 years, i already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
This joke is kinda offensive but here you go. Whatโs the longest joke of the year ..... pride month
My friend's 4 year old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Your mom is so fat it takes a year to turn around
Why didn't R Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens, the legal age there is 14...Like bro hope on a plane and fuck q 14 year old hooker!
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR" and "I'm gay!"
An 80 year old blind man ask his grandson can you grab my glasses Then the grandson say did you get in the flour again Grandpa said no it was the weed
