What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
What will you call burj khalifa after 100 years? Bujurg khalifa (Just a joke)
Why didn't R Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens, the legal age there is 14...Like bro hope on a plane and fuck q 14 year old hooker!
the steven hawkings space telescope will be launched next year, apparently it will have four wheels and run off windows 7
20 years later Jhonny: Hey dad Dad:yea? Jhonny: Fuck you I ain't comin back to your grave in 16 years then ima come back BITCH Dad: doing the same thing i did to you and your mother ay i deserve it :( ;O not reall...NOT A FUCKING ALL. Jhonny: Yea you kinda fucking do. Dad:...
Hey dad are you finally back with the milk dad: yea but it's expired so ima go back to the ''milk store'' and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry
Rapey santa
What's different between you and me I have a plan for this new year. So long suckers. Keep scrolling.
My girlfriend is born at 29 February, so does that mean she is 2 years oldπ€
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year ? Because he sexually kids π
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch.
Because it was over 10 years old.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Last year, got kicked out of the Hospital for telling covid patients to stay positive
What does an orphan have in common with a 80 year old women βthere parents will never come back
Dad= " I'll be back in a minute. 20 years later Orphan="Dad?
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off
yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex I could not think that her mother is so hot
what will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds? That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles
not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old
So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)
Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
