I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
My granddad killed Hitler.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
