World War II jokes
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
My granddad killed Hitler.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)