World War II jokes
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.