What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
