Workplace jokes

What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?

Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:

"I’m here for the new position?"

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.

What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?

An inside job.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.

Lady: What did you do?

Man: I took a day off...

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.