Work jokes
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.