Advertisement
Advertisement

Paper

dead baby fergustus

First Date: HE:“i work with animals every day!” SHE:“oh how sweet! what is it that you do?” HE:“I’m a butcher” SHE:“perfect i work with humans i just kill them by cutting them up!” HE:"so its you in the news paper?"SHE:"yes it was,wanna be next?" HE:“no!”

Skeleton

sans the skeleton

ive done a skeleTON of work to think of this joke. trust me ive got a feumer jokes

Woman

Anonymous

I work at a bank and a old woman asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over

Computer

9to5Jokes

Why was the Computer late to work?

Coz it had a hard drive… LMAO

Dad

Anonymous

kid: Dad wear do u work dad: I.C.U.P kid:HAHAHAH!!! SEE YOU PEE

Die

Dad_Jokes

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something, SOMEONE will laugh. Say: This word isnt gonna be funny until i tell you, your probably not going to laugh. your friend whats the word? you finger friend dies of laughter. note it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not every one laughs, so dont feel bad if they dont. Also dont be surprized if you get put in jail for murder, because your going to kill someone with this.

Morning

Anonymous

So a mom went to her kid and said “If you pray to god, he will give you your sight back” so he did exactly that The next morning the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kids room and asked “whats wrong” the kid replied it didn’t work" The mom said “April Fools”

Wife

Anonymous

Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.

Dad

Cassidee

my step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work, I went climbing trees later that day and now I’m in the hospital

Computer

Anonymous

Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!

White

Anonymous

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton and you still trying to tell me she ain’t got no job cause she "can’t get a ride to work "

Puns

Moose

Hey wanna hear a construction joke? -sure Oh sorry I’m still working on it :-]

Advertisement

Skeleton

Me

What skeleton says when he have lots of work? I have ton of work, skele-ton.

Daughter

Anonymous

Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work 😂😂

Puns

LuckeBÖÖI

Do u want to hear a joke about a construction? Sorry still working on it!

Dad

Anonymous

Kid: hey dad Dad: your an hour late Kid: no it was 2 hours also I was working on math Dad: by yourself? Kid: no, Dad: a boy?, Kid: I was with the teacher

Dad

Anonymous

Mom why was I adopted? Because people are terrible and that’s how the world works son! Ok dad the world is TERRIBLE

People

Anonymous

WE GOTTA WORK A-HEAD PEOPLE

Puns

Bad puns

Are you Fin-ished with your work?

Stairs

Anonymous

Be grateful: You’re missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

Loading...