Wordplay jokes

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

What's the best name for a prostitute?

SI-MOAN.

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

Do you know Ligma... potatoes?

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."

What do you call a gay threesome?

A Sloppy Joe.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

What does a perverted frog say?

"Rubbit."

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

Why is 10 always afraid?

Because it is between 9 and 11.

What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.