Word jokes
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Niguh.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
Caca.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Pulp is a palindrome.
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