Word jokes

The "f" in orphan stands for family.... wait a minute!

Jack

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.

BORNANA

The "f" on orphan stands for family.

Eh.

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

Hangman.

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

The "p" in Africa stands for peace.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?

Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.