Wont jokes

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?

So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won't separate the whites from the colors...

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor.

Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.