Wont jokes

Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"

Bob says, "Umm no."

Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."

Yo momma so slutty, she won't even be offended by this joke.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Addison Banks Age (8)

"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"

You masturbate...

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

What is the continent that ALWAYS sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and that is so tired that it won’t wake up? Eur-ope.

Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?

Because they won't have a parent to cry to.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?

One won't let you down, while the other will.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"