I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it…

elephants never forget.

What does a phone and a grandma have incomen. They both die What’s the difference between them. If you shove something up your grandmas ass she wont come back to life

Why wont cannibals eat divorced women?

Just to Bitter.

whats the difference between boogers and brocley. kids wont eat the brocley.

Student: There is 505 rocks in a car, if 8 fall out how many are left Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left Student: Ok!! Student: How do you put a alligator in a closet Teacher: You can’t it wont fit Student: No!! Student: Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door Teacher: Ohhh now i get it

once i sucked my mums titties, most adopted people wont know about that

i would tell you a chemistry pun but i wont get a reaction

Why cant Chinese do anything? The government wont let them.

whats tha difference between boogers and brocley . kids wont eat the brocley.

Why where the peopel in twin towers mad that wonted a drive frow pepperoni pizza but got a fly frow plan in sted

Me:Sister STOP STEALING MY STUFF OR I WILL MAKE U FEEL BAD Sister:No I wont stop Me:Fine im telling the world what u did Sister:What you will see when i post it Sister:WHY DID U TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD ME:BECAUSE U DON´T HAVE A LIFE

seems very long. you wont remember the tel number… I remember it lile this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Patron is shopping for new bra , lady says your size (69) , Dolly says no way that too too too (222) big, so she goes to doctor , Doc I need something to make my boobs smaller , here take (51) pills for 6 days ( x6) and soo she did . days later she ran back to doc, jesus Christ doctor look what happened Im BOOBLESS. 55378008 upside down.

Why cant orphans have a funeral? Because their parents wont be there

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied “Oh fuck off, you wont bring it back!”

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? by Iona Carr

What Lonely Girls Should Do by Seymour Fellowes

Unusual Window Decorations by Rod Curtains

The Long Walk Home by Misty Bus

Race to the Outhouse by Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont

Police: Where do you live? Me: With my parents Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With me Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together Police: Where is your house: Me: Next to my neighbors house Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If I tell you, you wont believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house Police: Arrests me

my ex’s love for me :( i still love the dude sadly but i wont take him back

so i walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies i stole one not noticing my mom was behind me…so my mom said PUT THE COOKIE BACK KID!!!and i said i wasn´t gonna eat it and she said then she said nevermind i´ll get you´re father so my mom said HONEY DEAL WITH YOURE SON I´M GOING TO THE MALL!! and my dad said son if ur not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!!so he went into his room and i heard the belt and i was going to run but i knew it would be worse so he said this will be you´re punishment as he was getting ready to hit me i said daddy no please i wasnt gonna was not going to eat it but he said NO U WONT CHANGE MY MIND LITTLE BOY then he hit me THANK YOU FOR READING STAY HEALTHY AND STAY SAFE IN THIS TIME BYE!!! read more of my jokes they´ll prob be around the website!!