Wont

Wont Jokes

Word

I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"

Potato

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.

Lonely

When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.

You won't feel lonely anymore :(

Teacher

when ur bored in class so u post this and people start comenting the best shit

A screenshot of a comment section, where a user expresses frustration about a teacher who won't stop talking. Other users respond with crude suggestions to shut her up.

Damage

If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:

https://schlechtewitze.com

Grandma

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

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  • Memory

    If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

    Elephants never forget.

    Car

    I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

    Cereal

    Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

    Black

    Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

    Person: Big black what?

    Riddler: ...

    Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

    Orphan

    Why can't orphans be gay?

    Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

    Caillou

    Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

    Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

    Dad

    Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

    Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

    Elbow

    If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

    If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

    Bf

    If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.