I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Wont Jokes
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
