Wont jokes

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?

They are afraid they won't find home.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

Juice WRLD died a legend. Making these jokes won't get you anywhere. Grow up.

Why can't orphans ride a bike?

'Cause their parents won't follow them.

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they won't know where home plate is.

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.