Wont jokes
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)