Women jokes

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

What is a woman's name with one leg?

Eileen.

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???