Women jokes

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Why do women have periods?

Because they deserve them, haha!

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...