Women jokes

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

Wanna know something funny?

- Women's rights.

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Why do women have periods?

Because they deserve them, haha!

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.