Women jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

Wanna know something funny?

- Women's rights.

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Why do women have periods?

Because they deserve them, haha!

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.