Women jokes
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What do women and wine bottles have in common?
They both have necks for grabbing, and holes to plug and unplug.
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
Women getting paid is bad, women should not get paid...
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(