Women Jokes

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.