Women jokes

I like my cigars like I like my women:

Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

Why do men have penises? They gotta shut women up somehow.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

What do women and appliances have in common?

If they don't work, hit them until they work.

Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?

They don’t deserve rights!

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

What's the difference between women and men?

Men have rights.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.