Women jokes
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.