Women jokes

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

Women are only for sex!

They are good for cooking and sex!

Nothing but those things.

I like my women like I like my eggs.

Beaten against a table until her insides come out.

90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

What do lovely men and tampons have in common?

Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.