Women jokes

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

Women are only for sex!

They are good for cooking and sex!

Nothing but those things.

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?

I like my women like I like my eggs.

Beaten against a table until her insides come out.

90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

What do lovely men and tampons have in common?

Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.