Woman Jokes

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Feminism.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!