Woman jokes

What's cold, blue and makes women cry?

Cot death.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

Wanna hear a joke?

Woman's rights.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

I like wine how I like my woman.

4 year old locked in a basement.

Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.

She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.