Woman jokes
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
My abortion.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
What would the world be like without women?
A pain in the ass.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Abortion is beautiful.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What's the difference between a rock and a woman?
The flat ones get skipped.