Woman jokes
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"