Woman jokes
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"