Woman

Woman jokes

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If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

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    • Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"

    Woman two: "Did that work?"

    Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."

    Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

    Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

    The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

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    • I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

    Ok, not really racist but still funny.

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    • There is a man and a woman on a date.

    The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

    The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

    "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

    "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

    "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

    "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

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