Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
7000+ bats.
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
I smell like skunk.
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
I like zebras.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too. Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
