Wildlife jokes
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.