Wildlife jokes
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Koalas ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ are booooooooooooooooo👎
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Koalas are awesome!
Koalas are weird. Why? I don't know!
What is an animal that is always at a baseball game?
A bat! 🤣🦇🦇🦇🦇
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.