What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Koalas ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ are booooooooooooooooo👎
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Koalas are awesome!
Koalas are weird. Why? I don't know!
What is an animal that is always at a baseball game?
A bat! 🤣🦇🦇🦇🦇
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Africa.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
