Why jokes

Child

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

Fish

Why are fish easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

Golfer

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

Pig

Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?

Because he’s a ball hog.

Memes

Wife

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

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  • Taste

    At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

    Emo

    I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.

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  • Orphan

    If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

    Double!

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

    Triple!

    Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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  • Bus

    Why didn't Sally get home from work?

    She got hit by a bus.

    Feet

    Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

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  • Phone Call

    Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

    Orphan

    Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

    It can't hit home.

    Orphan

    Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.

    ADHD

    Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

    Their focus is always off.