Why jokes
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Memes
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"