Why jokes
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?