Why jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Memes
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!