Why jokes
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
Work
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Why did the wetback cross the river? To get to the US.
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."
The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)