Why jokes

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Why are there no chemists in Africa?

Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”