Why jokes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!