Whos jokes

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

Why did Sally fall off the swings?

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c—

MOO!

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?

What do you call someone who fixes walls?

Juan, probably.

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?

The Doughker.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.